BlackScarfGirl

  Diary of a Single Person   Do you know how it feels to be a person who suffer a lot but can’t tell someone? It feels like shivering from head to toe, a shiver which hurt soul inside the beautiful structure, which look very attractive to everyone,  What people see from distance is a complete structure which smile, talk interact, communicate but no one know that how that structure is shaking and how pain soul is facing time and again. I know how it feels to be shivering and hearing all the noises coming from head, time and again it feels that I will crumble in pieces but I have no idea how am I breathing and surviving every day, it feels every time I die and live again just to die again.  Whom do I share what turmoil I’m going through in my brain, who will listen to me and my sadness and suffering.    It’s been a while that I keep repeating same line in my life and it seems that every situation I went through leads me towards that line. In my life I have no one for me. Crying alone in

  Dairy of a single person   Dear diary  Today I suddenly felt low, I don’t know why I feel so low but then to find my answer I started wondering what am I feeling sad all of a sudden?? Then the answer hit me that from I don’t know where the thought got stuck into my mind that I don’t have any money. I know , I know this is not a new thought as it’s been log long time that I have been living without money and still I’m alive. Surprise! But that felt bad at the bottom of my heart, it felt that you don’t have any money to get anything for myself. I can’t buy new clothes, I can’t buy she’s, I can’t buy purse or makeup or jewellery or pen or copy or any other thing if I need it. How am I surviving in this life?  I know that it’s stupid to think about all this stuff as long as you have roof or loaf of bread in your mouth. Most people will say that how stupid are you even though you don’t have such things but still you have your mother’s house where you can hide and get something to eat, and

  Diary of a single person   Dear diary Do you know how does it to live a life which is getting worst day by day??? I don’t think so, it seems that nothing good is going to happened. Why because the area where I live is getting worst day by day. Things are getting expensive every week and having no job and no money means that it’s going to get worst and worst every day. There is no one who could care or feel sympathy for the people who are less privileged and are suffering every increase in expenses but still there is no increase in value of money. It feel so depressed, the leader of my country stated in his speeches that he will do good for the poor class and lower middle class. I belong to lower middle class, he does nothing good for us, instead that he is snatching everything from our hands. He gave no jobs, no facilities in daily usages things and basic human need, food, electricity, gas, water instead he made our lives miserable and everyone around me is cursing him with every bre

  Diary of a single person   It feels nothing to be ok just because you are looking ok. The feeling of having things going in normal speed, tone or monotonous doesn’t mean life is doing right. I know how it feels to be rejected and left alone. I’m not acting as desperate to be someone but the feeling of being alone and the ones yes ones who left me are having best life made me wonder what have I done wrong to deserve such kind of life. Being rejected is like dying every time hurting cringing and crying when those feelings came and appear live in your eyes. The crying which doesn’t have any sound tears rolling out of eyes and slipping from cheeks to hands then from eyes to pillow, killing your own sound with your own hands so that no one could get to know that how badly you and your body is hurting. Such kind of feelings killed me every day and night for I don’t remember how many hours, I can’t even tell anyone how I feel, because I don’t want others to worry about me, I don’t want my f

  Diary of a single person Its been long I haven’t talked to your, you have no idea what have been going through in my mind. If I hadn’t had you my diary it would be very difficult for me to have some level of sense in my own mind. It feels like I am not alive, something in me is already dead. What is dead that’s not coming in my mind, why is this happening I have no idea. The constant thing appearing in my mind is this world is not a good place to live, I know this is negative thought but still its still exists in my mind and it kept on circling round and round in my mind. What if I accept this line and live with it? What will happened? I have no answer. Tears brim up at the back of my eyes they don’t come forward; it seems that they are drying out. Today if felt the absence of that person whom I think I loved the most after my mother. I wanted to see him, I wanted to talk to him, I wanted him to text me and that text on the screen of my mobile made me smile as if I have got all t

There are days when I feel like why am I alive? But there is no one to answer this question. What life has made out of me, is the only thing which am bearing and just continuing living. The one thing is very clear to me now that this is not a nice place to live in. you must be thinking what is this person is talking about, if you look into my shoes, I can guarantee that you would never try to touch my shoes. They are not smelly, but they are bleeding, they are crying, longing for a friend. A friend, what friend here doesn’t mean that I need a sex partner, what I mean is that a person to whom I can lean on, a person in front of whom I cry like baby, and I don’t feel that one day that person will leave me at the center of the road to die alone, crying in bed alone, the tears which I can’t show to the world and people around me.   Even though I always post status on snapchat and whatsApp, about I need a friend and my world of people always take it as a joke. They don’t know how empty I am

 Dairy of a single person  Let's begin.... From the early age I had no interest in opposite gender but to be very open they never turned into monsters. The monsters which I imagined after listening the stories told by my mother. If any of that people existed in life I would have seen it but up till now I haven’t seen any of that character. I found opposite gender very pretty, even though this is not right word to use for male gender but still I found them cute, pretty and eye candies. It’s not like that I found them in these shapes and forms regularly but when I see any attractive face, these terms automatically come to my tongue. Living a life with females all around me made me uneducated about men their tactics, their behaviors and how to deal with them. So in order to avoid all these problems I prefer to stay away from them. It’s not like that I don’t want a man in my life. I really wanted a man in my life but the question is how to have such person in life that would not turn