Diary of a single person

 Diary of a single person 


It feels nothing to be ok just because you are looking ok. The feeling of having things going in normal speed, tone or monotonous doesn’t mean life is doing right. I know how it feels to be rejected and left alone. I’m not acting as desperate to be someone but the feeling of being alone and the ones yes ones who left me are having best life made me wonder what have I done wrong to deserve such kind of life. Being rejected is like dying every time hurting cringing and crying when those feelings came and appear live in your eyes. The crying which doesn’t have any sound tears rolling out of eyes and slipping from cheeks to hands then from eyes to pillow, killing your own sound with your own hands so that no one could get to know that how badly you and your body is hurting. Such kind of feelings killed me every day and night for I don’t remember how many hours, I can’t even tell anyone how I feel, because I don’t want others to worry about me, I don’t want my family to cry with me. 

Today I felt that how it feels to be alone among so many people around me, they are all having good days and bad days but me. Me ???? Why in my life nothing good is happening? Doesn’t I need good days and happiness in my life? But I have no answer for it because I don’t know the answer.  I am very surprised that I don’t have any answer for the problems of my life, how can that be that I have no answers . Why can’t there be any answer? Why 

But if I open the horizon of my vision I’m not only one who is in such condition, am I ? There are people everywhere who I don’t know are in deep troubles and worries. What they are thinking, what they do to keep themselves sane. I have no idea, are they living with those problems or trying to come out of it??? I have no idea. They one thing I only know that I’m tired of all these worries and sufferings, I want to be happy, I want to see silver lines shining on my whole self. I want those all blessings which happy, satisfied, blessed and contented people have since birth. Am I asking for so much that it’s not appearing to be possible? Am I asking to snatch all this from someone and give it to me. No. I’m asking for my own happiness which belongs to me not others, I don’t want to deprived other from this happinesses. 

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