BlackScarfGirl

  Diary of a single person Its been long I haven’t talked to your, you have no idea what have been going through in my mind. If I hadn’t had you my diary it would be very difficult for me to have some level of sense in my own mind. It feels like I am not alive, something in me is already dead. What is dead that’s not coming in my mind, why is this happening I have no idea. The constant thing appearing in my mind is this world is not a good place to live, I know this is negative thought but still its still exists in my mind and it kept on circling round and round in my mind. What if I accept this line and live with it? What will happened? I have no answer. Tears brim up at the back of my eyes they don’t come forward; it seems that they are drying out. Today if felt the absence of that person whom I think I loved the most after my mother. I wanted to see him, I wanted to talk to him, I wanted him to text me and that text on the screen of my mobile made me smile as if I have got all t

There are days when I feel like why am I alive? But there is no one to answer this question. What life has made out of me, is the only thing which am bearing and just continuing living. The one thing is very clear to me now that this is not a nice place to live in. you must be thinking what is this person is talking about, if you look into my shoes, I can guarantee that you would never try to touch my shoes. They are not smelly, but they are bleeding, they are crying, longing for a friend. A friend, what friend here doesn’t mean that I need a sex partner, what I mean is that a person to whom I can lean on, a person in front of whom I cry like baby, and I don’t feel that one day that person will leave me at the center of the road to die alone, crying in bed alone, the tears which I can’t show to the world and people around me.   Even though I always post status on snapchat and whatsApp, about I need a friend and my world of people always take it as a joke. They don’t know how empty I am