Diary of a single person

Its been long I haven’t talked to your, you have no idea what have been going through in my mind. If I hadn’t had you my diary it would be very difficult for me to have some level of sense in my own mind. It feels like I am not alive, something in me is already dead. What is dead that’s not coming in my mind, why is this happening I have no idea. The constant thing appearing in my mind is this world is not a good place to live, I know this is negative thought but still its still exists in my mind and it kept on circling round and round in my mind. What if I accept this line and live with it? What will happened? I have no answer. Tears brim up at the back of my eyes they don’t come forward; it seems that they are drying out.

Today if felt the absence of that person whom I think I loved the most after my mother. I wanted to see him, I wanted to talk to him, I wanted him to text me and that text on the screen of my mobile made me smile as if I have got all the blessings. But, no matter what I wish, no such thing can happen in my life, all I can to is to remember those feelings alone, when he used to see me and smile back at me, by avoiding others eyes. Things were secret the only person who know about us was we two and God. I miss him. I really wanted to see his face with smile and love for me in his eyes. It pinch my heart that I can’t get all these back. Every second of my day never went by without thinking about him. I know he would have never thought of me ever, because he has move on in his life, because he has to obey his parents and parents love is more important than a person like me. The couples everywhere made me feel so lonely. I never felt lonely this much……

 

 

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